Wandering Into The Woods

I have made it a habit of mine to clean up the woods whenever the opportunity, and the weather, allows for it. This stemmed from a sudden bout of activity after I pulled myself out of a severe depressive episode where I decided that I wanted people to remember me; and taking on the duty of cleaning up so that when I left the village I was raised in people would feel my absence.

A terribly selfish thing to do, I understand.

However, it is only after having done this for a year that I realise I have forcibly bound myself to this place when the last thing I want is to be trapped at all. I have given myself an obligation to clean up the forest or face my own guilty conscience, and in return I have left myself in a predicament where I will be leaving within the next month or two whilst knowing full well that my absence from an area will have a negative impact upon the fauna there.

So I have taken an alternative route.

I am planting wildflower in the area before I leave it for good. The wildflower will not need constant maintenance and will stay long after I leave, and so my guilty conscience can be eased somewhat by the acknowledgement that I still had a positive impact on my environment.

I say this here because I know in travelling my mind will be compelled to clean up areas that have become dumping sites for other travellers, and part of me will try to clean up those areas knowing that my efforts are in vain so long as there is material out there that does not decompose rapidly.

I have to force myself out of this mindset that I must stay in a place and constantly survey it to keep it clean. That is an impossible task and one that will not be achieved within my lifespan: not so long as people are compelled to dump rubbish.

So, instead, I will scatter wildflowers across any area I travel through. Even if the seeds are eaten it still has a positive impact upon the environment and it is certainly better than brewing miserably in my own guilt for the laziness of others.

On that note, I will not stop cleaning my surrounding environment until after I leave the area. I am not the only one doing this after all.